Become a True American and #KillTheKCup
What does a wholesome, patriotic, red-blooded American do the first thing in the morning? He drinks a cup of coffee. He wakes up from his dreams filled with bald eagles and F-22 fighter jets, puts on his "Proud to Be an American" robe, and makes an honest pot of Joe to wash down his breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon just like the good Lord intended.
In recent years, a popular alternative to the humble coffee maker has been introduced to the masses. It's called the Keurig, a coffee machine that uses disposable, non-biodegradable, non-recyclable cups called "K-Cups" that can disperse a single cup of coffee instead of the traditional 4-12 cups made when using a coffee pot.
It may seem convienient, but it is a huge detriment to the environment. Keurig has sold 9 billion cups so far, and the majority of those cups have gone directly into landfills. Since these cups are non-biodegradable, they are going to sit in that landfill for a very, very long time. The Keurig company even says that they are recyclable, but they are made from "plastic #7", which is only recyclable in a few cities in Canada.
"K-CUPS AREN'T EVEN RECYCLABLE IN AMERICA? I DID NOT ESTABLISH THIS COUNTRY JUST SO IT COULD BE LITTERED BY THESE TINY FREEDOM DESTROYERS." -George Washington (Source Needed)
The harrowing truth is that a large portion of our country has ditched their french presses and Mr. Coffees and switched over to Team Keurig. American offices have also made the move over to the Keurig and away from the community coffee pot (the one that Karen from Accounting "forgets" to refill after she has the last cup). It's just much more convienient to set out a bunch of disposable K-Cups for the office then to have to deal with a verbal battle between co-workers about who left the coffee pot empty again (its always Karen from Accounting. Always).
"God, I hate Karen. She never fills the coffee pot once she finishes it. She's always just sitting there at her desk, crumpling papers and keeping customers on hold. WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, KAREN?"
Looks like Karen needs a little advice from Terry Tate, Office Linebacker:
"YOU KILL THE JO, YOU MAKE SOME MO!"
The thought of the K-Cup's affect on the environment seems to elude the typical consumer because they are designed to be that way. "Disposable" in the American vernacular typically means that the product is safe to throw away and forget about forever. Only a few enlightened patriots really think about the products that they consume and how it can affect the environment. Even the creator of the Keurig, John Sylvan, detests what his former company has become after he sold it in 1997 for $50,000. "I feel bad sometimes that I ever did it", John said in an interview with The Atlantic.
There is some good news, though. There is a major uprising going on in the disposable coffee world, all sparked by a viral video created by an advertising company called Egg Studios that portrays the true evil of the dreaded K-Cup:
This video spawned the hashtag #KillTheKCup, and gave a humorous view into the destructive nature K-Cups.
Now if you own a Keurig and have become divinely inspired to kick your evil machine to the curb, don't bring out the pitchforks just yet. They now sell reusable cups that fit in the Keurig K-Cup slot that you can fill with your own coffee grounds. This would eliminate the use of the harmful disposable K-Cups, and still give you the convienience to brew your own personal cup of java.
Even though these K-Cups have the benifit of convienience and disposability, they pose a huge threat to our landfills and our precious American soil. Just ask yourself this question:
Would a True American choose the easy, convienient way instead of the right way?
HELL. NO.
Did JFK look at the moon and say "Nah, that's too far"?
Did Reagan put his hands up during the Cold War and warmly accept communism as the American way because he "didn't want to make things awkward with the Russians"?
OF COURSE NOT.
Now go to your kitchen, grab the can of Folgers, brew yourself a warm cup of freedom, and
(Or just chug it straight from the pot like this guy. Do what you want, it's a free country.)
